Let's Find Your Voice

There was a time when I was scared to speak up. I thought that raising my hand was asking for too much attention. I was NOT supposed to call attention to myself. I was supposed to sit quietly and let a boy answer. Then I was to agree by nodding my head (if he was right). If he was wrong I was not supposed to correct him. That was the teacher's job. I was incapable of problem solving or having a healthy debate. I was just a fifth grade girl that liked to play practical jokes on people when the teacher was not looking. If I dare got caught I might turn beat red. How could I DARE do what the boys do? Play pranks. That was NOT for the girls. Then one day I was caught red handed by one of my favorite teachers. She shamed me. That was it. It was the end of pranks. Then two years later, in the 7th grade my English teacher noticed that all of my journal assignments were comedy stories or fake newscasts. I turned every assignment into a comedy routine. The entries were for me. I did not want to share. I was NOT supposed to share. I did not want to get in trouble. The first time I shared I was embarrassed. I did not want to share. I knew I would be suspended, expelled, fired from junior high. As I was reading I could not stop laughing. I was so fit full of laughter I could barely finish reading my journal. I was realizing that I was funny. Or at least I thought I was. Some kids were laughing, others were staring at me in disbelief. What the hell is she doing? Being FUNNY. That girl. For the next school year my English teacher did not ask me to read my journal daily. It was required. He knew I loved it so much that he had to encourage me to keep on doing it. I lived for these journal readings. Sometimes no one laughed. But I did! I laughed for me! Because of my English teacher I never gave up finding my voice.